Thursday, January 29, 2009

Breaking Bad Habits


"First we make our habits, and then our habits make us." - John Dryden
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Great article (from Meridian Magazine) -- you may not have all these bad habits listed below - but pick which ones you have & work on them... I know I have a few I need to work on and rid myself of. There's great advice in the article.

"Bad habits can be like an addictive drug—poisonous and tough to beat. The beginning of the year is the perfect time to make a goal to rid yourself of your destructive behaviors—whether your goal be to eliminate all of them or whether it be to take baby steps in that direction. Start by becoming aware of the habits in your life you could do away with and recognize your life is better off without them. Make realistic goals and reward yourself for achieving them. Isn’t it about time you grew your nails out, stopped blaming others for a bad situation, and actually took your makeup off before going to bed?

Bad Habit #1: Nail Biting

Nail biting is called an anxiety stress reducer—it’s something you do to make your stress go away. “People are just looking for something to do to reduce their stress,” says Dr. James MacArthur, psychologist and director of the BYU Counseling Center. “If it works, they might do it again next time.” But when the stressor is gone, the habit is still exists because of reinforcement, and your poor fingernails are chewed down to non-existence.

How to fix it: “The solution is to divert from something you find undesirable [like nail biting] . . . to something else,” MacArthur says. “Pick something that’s a substitute that doesn’t have a negative outcome. Do that more positive substitute regularly as well.” You might also try painting your fingernails or getting a manicure; that way, every time you’re tempted to gnaw on your nails, you’ll think twice about wasting the time and money you put into them. You might also use a special polish with a foul taste, which will certainly remind you to keep your fingers away from your mouth.

Bad Habit #2: Perfectionism

As a culture, we are encouraged to always do our best. Even at a young age, we get the message to be perfect from our parents. We think mistakenly that we are accepted only after doing something right, like earning straight A’s. “Perfectionism is a lifestyle issue that often has to do with how you view yourself,” MacArthur says. “Perfectionistic people often find themselves unacceptable if they don’t do everything right.”

How to fix it: Redefine your self-image so it is more self-tolerant, reasonable, and flexible. MacArthur says to tell yourself, “I’m okay ‘in process’; it is okay to make mistakes.” He adds, “Mistakes can be part of learning. They can be stepping stones toward growth.” Try to remember life is a growing process, and don’t expect to be fixed the first time you try. Give yourself time limits for projects so you don’t spend unreasonable amounts of time doing something until it’s just right. Try letting some unimportant things in your life go. Let the dishes pile up in the sink. You’ll see that the world doesn’t come to an end, and that some things just aren’t that important. It’s okay not be perfect in all aspects of your life; in fact, it’s normal.

Bad Habit #3: Late-Night Snacking

Eating late at night is the result of one of two motivations; one is physiological, like not getting enough to eat in the day. “If you don’t eat a balanced breakfast your body is at a deficit at the end of the day,” says Kendra Shaila Fried, a dietitian from Wasatch Integrative Health. This causes you to crave foods at night in order to make up for the loss. For example, if you don’t eat healthy fat (some nuts or oils), you could crave ice cream or other forms of undesirable fat, she says. “When snacking at night, we often fill our bodies with calories but not necessarily nutrient-dense food,” Fried says. “Our bodies can’t utilize this energy efficiently while we are sleeping so we store the calories as fat.”

You might also be ignoring what your true needs are. Fried says we all need “primary food,” which consists of good relationships, religion/spirituality, hobbies, and other things that make us whole. If you don’t nourish yourself with primary foods, you can end up craving comfort foods to compensate.

How to fix it: If you late-night snack because of physiological reasons, make sure you’re getting enough to eat during the day. “Discover the best breakfast for yourself,” Fried says. Experiment with different foods for breakfast and document how you respond to it. Are you still hungry? Are you satisfied? Also, you might not be getting enough for lunch, so fill up earlier in the day when your body can still burn calories. If you’re snacking not out of hunger, but out of more emotional reasons, Fried recommends replacing your snacks with primary foods. “Discover the things you enjoy doing and feed yourself on that level.”

Bad Habit #4: Letting Yourself Go As Life Gets Hectic

Everyone has their own reasons for justifying it—a family that increasingly demands more time, a profession that saps time and energy—but a good majority of people let themselves go as time goes by. You may have stopped working out, started eating more unhealthy foods, or started disregarding care of your outward appearance.

How to fix it: “Be healthy for your spouse and children,” Fried says. Obesity and an inactive lifestyle lead to health-related problems that can leave your family distressed and responsible for your lack of self-care.” Consider the possible results of your disregard for your body and appearance; providing a good example for your children is, on the most fundamental level, a strong reason to take care of yourself. Fried says finding “primary foods” is a top priority for couples. If you and your spouse don’t participate in activities together, you might be eating out of boredom. Discover active hobbies you can enjoy together that foster intimacy and health. Go for a family walk at the end of each day. It makes a difference.

Bad Habit #5: Pointing the Finger

Anything that goes wrong in your life is someone else’s fault, naturally. Problems, hardships, even your own character flaws (“But I learned that from my mom!”) are much easier to blame on other people than actually admitting you did something wrong. People who project blame very often feel shame for having negative qualities and do whatever they can to distract themselves from noticing their own flaws, but they’re only in denial.

How to fix it: Adopt the mantra, “The buck stops here.” You are in charge of your own life, and while outside events can have an impact on you, only you have the choice of how to deal with them. Admit your mistakes. Apologize when you’re in the wrong. Recognize your shortcomings, and take responsibility for them.

Bad Habit #6: Gossiping

Once you hear something juicy, you’re just bursting to tell someone else, regardless of whether it’s harmful or even true. “Gossiping is how a lot of people connect with each other,” says Jeannette Maw, a professional life coach. “This is just how we fit in.” But by gossiping, you give place for negativity within yourself and project it on another person, and you are probably destroying trust and relationships.

How to fix it: Be conscious of it. Some people make it a goal to leave the conversation when gossiping occurs. Others make a commitment to say only good things and make their decision known to others. Be aware of your conversation topics, and if they turn into gossip, change the subject.

Bad Habit #7: Laziness

Laziness is a standard enough habit; it’s hard to be motivated about mundane and boring things. But you may want to take a second look at your laziness, because it can be an indicator for something larger. “A lot of people think they lack motivation, but they really lack passion or inspiration,” Maw says. “When we’re working on something that matters, laziness doesn’t even come into play.”

How to fix it: Laziness could be a sign that something is not important to you. If you’re lazy about doing your job, you could be in the wrong business. Find the things in your life that you’re lazy about and decide whether they really should be in your life or not. But there are always things that are necessary, like chores, that most people are more than willing to be lazy about doing. For those things Maw suggests, “Find a way to see it as a way to contribute to your life’s purpose; it makes [these things] much easier to do.”

Bad Habit #8: Slouching

Slouching could be a habit formed through lack of self-esteem, sitting in poorly supported chairs, or out of laziness. And it can cause serious problems. “It stretches [some] muscles and tightens others,” says Charles Numbers, M.S., P.T. “It puts extra stress on joints and muscles.” Numbers says slouching can ultimately lead to headaches, a deformed spine, and disc problems and injuries.

How to fix it: Numbers says staying fit and getting a daily aerobic exercise of twenty to thirty minute can significantly improve posture. He suggests taking a brisk walk, or doing yoga and Pilates to strengthen your core and back muscles. But first, like all bad habits, you have to be actively aware of your bad posture and sit up straight every time you notice yourself slouching.

Bad Habit #9: Sleeping with Makeup On

You’ve had a long day—make that a long past five years—and you’re so tired that washing your face takes too much effort, so you just go to bed with your makeup on. This is bad news for your skin. “Most foundations have a lot of oils, fragrant fillers, and dyes, which are very harmful to the skin,” says Jody Brown, master esthetician at Rocky Mountain Women’s Health Center. “It contributes to acne breakouts, and to oily skin, causing enlarged pores.” Pollution and smog also collect on your face during the day and can contribute to premature aging.

How to fix it: “Your face needs to be cleansed morning and night,” Brown says. “Whatever routine you do [morning and] night, just take two seconds to cleanse your face. It’s not really time consuming.” Brown says the whole skin care regimen, like cleansing, toning, and applying other products sold to you as “must-haves,” isn’t necessary for most. Just a quick cleanse will do wonders for your skin.

Bad Habit #10: Technology Addiction

You may feel the need to be connected to your social network 24/7, and thanks to cell phones, text messaging, and e-mail, it’s possible. But the problem is, you don’t know when to stop. You text while talking to other people, you check your e-mail every five minutes (even when you’re not expecting something), and talk on your cell phone while driving, despite the danger to yourself and others. (A Harvard study in 2005 estimated that 330,000 people are injured and 2,600 people are killed in cell phone related accidents each year.) You feel anxious without your phone and don’t know what to do with yourself when you don’t have it.

How to fix it: Try to remember that technology is only a tool, not an extension of your life.

Texting

Consider how much your relationships could be strengthened if your conversations were in person or even over the phone, rather than through a text. If you like to text late at night, leave your phone in the other room when you go to bed. Give yourself a daily limit of texts sent and received, and when you reach it, stop.

E-mail

It’s an indispensable tool, it’s true, but limit yourself to checking it spontaneously every two hours during business, and only once after you get home. You’ll be more productive and free to enjoy your time.

Cell Phone

Keep your phone in your purse while you drive and resist the temptation to call others or answer a call until you get out of your car. That way you’ll be able to focus on driving, and give the person your full attention during the conversation."